Assalamualaikum.

                    A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out - Walter Winchell

              Rasanya dah lama jari jemari yang tak berapa nak runcing ni menari diatas keyboard to update or post something dekat sini. But today, I finally did. Mungkin sebab bosan. Mungkin jugak sebab terdorong oleh PMS yang sentiasa bermain dengan emosi seorang wanita. Ataupun mungkin disebabkan lagu ‘a million years ago’ yang terplay dekat earphone mendorong aku untuk menulis. Well… nobody knows.

            13 March 2017. There must be something wrong or special today. Either one. It feels like something struck off my heart. Rasa macam tersekat dekat dada, senak. Rasa sakit macam pelik sikit, berbeza dengan rasa sakit masa aku hiking semalam. Completely two different pains but at the same place. But something for sure, this heartache that I felt because im too emotions. At least thats what I think.

             I try my very best to make an eye contact and try to wave my hand in front of her. I admit that it’s really hard to do so as if im using half of my energy. Well… I actually hoping for some responds. But, I somehow feel like she’s avoiding me and she doesn’t even try to talk to me. Even last week when I greeted her in the lecture hall, she just gave me a smile. The hambar one. Honestly, it doesn’t hurt me. Not at all. Not even a little dust! Cehhh…ego bakhangg. Tapi, the aftermath that I felt was sort of aching you know? Sakit. That’s the best word to describe. It feels like you were really hurted but you gotta act like you don’t feel anything.

            Tapi itulah, benda macam ni selalu je berlaku. Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit, inikan pulak kawan kan. But as for today, aku rasa terkesan sangat sebab as I said I quite emotional today. So, bila aku cakap “rasa macam senak dada lah ain, rasa macam tersekat” and maybe at that time my face had showed not a very good expression and ain saw it, she patted my shoulder a few times and said, “ its okay, kita sama-sama hilang kawan”, then she smiled emotionlessly. Yeah… seriously my tears feel like to burst out. We got the same problem but different situation. Somehow I feel so grateful to be destined to meet beautiful people with beautiful hearts, jumpa kawan yang memahami, yang concern, yang tahu we’re not okay despite of we said we’re okay is something that so wonderful ever happen I think. Something so precious that I wouldn’t let go :)

           The timing is just so helpless. Yes I know it is part of my fault. Sebab keputusan selfish aku something like this happened. But still, it wasn’t completely my fault sebab I already told her that im going to change my kolej kediaman and I even asked her to come with me, but she refused. She said that she just fine there and she loves to stay there so and so. Okay. Kat situ no problem I guess. Kelas? Tak lunch sekali? Hello… kalau class schedule tak sama how come kita nak makan sekali? Masa kau ada kelas, aku takde and vice versa. Cuma, timing je tak kena. I don’t care anymore and I don’t want to care. It’s hurt me every times I see she tweets something that I feel it’s pointed to me. Well twitter you right, sorangg tweet seribu terasa.

           Aku bukan ada satu tu je masalah nak fikir, banyak lagi. Masalah hati, masalah wifi taknak connect dan yang paling penting masalah assignments yang bertimbun yang aku teramat amat malas dan culas nak buat. Fikirkan masalah yang takde ending ni takberguna, buang masa dan menyakitkan hati je. Menangis pun takguna. We all know that crying won’t solve our problem right. I just hope one thing that this matter wouldn’t be dragged until next week. Kalau boleh next week aku nak bertenang, rileks and rasa macam nak tengok wonderful scenery at a very tranquil place sebab next week  is someday that I promise myself to strat a new! Pray for me yaww :)

         Oh yaa… as I mention just now, semalam aku pergi hiking kann, Bukit Jugra is a very nice with beautiful scenery Hill you know, worth to hike! Kalau ada masa, give Bukit Jugra a try and feel the breathtaking and wonderful scenery there ! :)